I write in my blog when I have something funny or exciting to write about. I don't write when I experience something sad or difficult; I'm afraid to. I like to keep my problems to myself- act like they're not there, pretending that everything is hunky-dory.
But life isn't that way is it?
We all have problems and though I write about those, you will never see them. I have read so many blogs where people tell it like it is and those are some of the blogs I like the most.
They are real. They are honest
So how brave am I and how honest or real should I make this blog? Is that even the tone I want for my blog? A sub-world that mirrors my own, but only includes those things that I want to share. How appealing! How hollow.
We have been unemployed since July and it has been, to say the least, stressful. It is hard looking for a job when you do not have one. I would much prefer looking for a new job while still working. In fact, I would highly recommend it, but this is how it is.
We knew coming to Wisconsin was the right think to do, but for a while I have been feeling the urge to "get going, it's time to move on." Clearly I now understand why.
And though things have not turned out the way we had hoped, I know the reason we were supposed to come to Wisconsin. Wisconsin is where Doctor H is. My moods were slowly getting worse and my pregnancy with Andrew made it all the harder. I needed help and I needed Doctor H. He even mentioned that I was one of his hardest patience to treat and Doctor H helps a lot of people. You wouldn't think that way out here in Wisconsin there would be a great psychiatrist, but WI has a great medical school and is only an hour away.
I wish you could meet Doctor H. He looks just the way you would think a psychiatrist should and even has the leather couch in his room like any good psychiatrist should. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate that man! I don't know what I will do when we move. But I will be OK, because I am finally stable. I can finally be myself- the real self that was being suffocated by the heavy weight of everything else.
I am ready to move on because I am able. I'm a stronger person because of this and can cope when before I could not.
Dear Doctor H, you are free to help other people become people again. Thank you.
I'm breathing. I'm happy
We are ready to leave Wisconsin and our home ( and we hope before the food and money run out) but we are alright- though we spend too much time standing around the phone as if it were the drinking fountain, waiting for the one phone call telling us we have a job.
We are eager. We are hopeful.
