Fire

I actual got up and got dressed on time this morning. This is a big deal for me,

especially after Christmas when my temporary addiction to holiday

candies is no longer being fed. When I got to the kitchen table to sit down,

unseen and unknown was a nice cold puddle of water.

Ya, it soaked into my only clean pair of pants and into my underwear.

(And I thought wet socks were bad!)

I jumped up and if ever a person could breathe fire it should have

been then.

So, now I am back in my P.J.s with wet undies!

Why did I even bother getting dressed?

Speaking of breathing fire, I’m actually glad that I can’t

(wouldn’t it be totally awesome though).

If I could breathe fire, then getting fire insurance would be impossible.

Example phone call between Hubby and Phone Receptionist (PR):


Hubby: “Yes, I would like to get fire insurance.”

Helpful PR: “Do you have any flammable material in your home?”

Hubby: “Um, there is a lot of wood…”

Un-helpful PR: “That will increase your premiums. Are there things that get hot in your home?”

Hubby: “Oven, microwave, iron, clothes drier, furnace, water heater, light bulbs and…and…”

Patient PR: “Yes?”

Hubby quietly: “My wife.”

PR: Clears throat then changes the subject. “Did you mean curling iron or clothes iron?”

Hubby: “What?! Oh, my wife doesn’t iron clothes, that’s what driers are for, but my wife she…”

Bored PR: “Just a moment and I will have your monthly premium total.”

Hubby: “My wife breathes fires!” (Red in the face, poor guy)

Surprised PR: “What???”


Hubby: “Yes, when she gets really mad, fire comes out of her mouth!”

Shocked PR: “I’m sorry our company can not insure you at this time.”

--------------Dead dial tone-------------------------------

Snowboarding

I went snowboarding on Thursday. It was awesome!


I wish that I could say I was awesome, but I did fall down a lot.


I mean, I AM Awesome!


My friend Molly doing her thing.

Taking a hot chocolate break.

I'm planing on going again, so today I'm eating

cinnamon rolls to help pad my body

against bruises.

Brilliant I know!

Oh! and I totally have to go shopping so that I

can look like a proper snowboarder before

I go back.

The fat coat has got to go!!

Rocking out after the snowboarding class.

And lastly, should I go with the tongue, eyebrow or lip piercing?

Karma at it's finest

This morning served as a great reminder of how karma works.

My son had all his little Matchbox cars lined up along the edge of the couch and was enjoying the view, like a lord surveying his small, yet happy fiefdom.

He was looking pretty proud of himself with his too-short arms resting on his hips.

(Note; if you have never seen a two year old running then you are missing out on one of the cutest (kind way to say funny) things in the world!)

“Ahh, it’s mine.” His stance resonated. “All mine!”

Then enters the jealous lady, two years the elder, she sees that the young lord is quite proud of the line of cars and decides that she should show the lord what true power is; HER POWER!

She carefully gets on the couch and holding on tightly to its back, she begins to jump.

The last two cars in the line fall off the pliable cliff. Seeing such success and without the anticipated weeping and wailing she moves stealthily over to the middle cushion and lowers her head as the intensity and height of each jump increase.

And then it happens, Karma.

BUMP!

The lady pauses in surprise, blinking her eyes, her face blank to all emotion.

It wasn’t a hard hit, but rather unexpected; a reminder that karma protects even the youngest of people.

She begins to wail, rubbing the top of her head and comes running to me, the Domestic Goddess.

There, there my young one (giggle, giggle), karma does not sleep!

Hubby's New Ping Pong Table

For Christmas my hubby’s parents gave us a Ping Pong table.

Ever since we have been married my husband has wanted one.

At first it was easy to say no because we clearly did not have room for one.

And being the always consistent Domestic Goddess, I understandably made an exception and

was even willing to move to a bigger place when baby number one arrived. Then came number

two…then three…job (shouldn’t this have been first?)…house.

Now that we are living in our own home, it was getting hard to tell my wonderful husband that

other things should come first. (I mean, don’t we need new furniture so that the children have

something of quality to ruin? Let’s be realistic here, my children are young and I need to work

on my yelling skills before they turn into teenagers and the best way to experience this kind of

practicing is to lose something new and expensive.

Um, I mean I never yell at my children and I need to practice my un-yellingness

under tense circumstances.)

Well, now he has one.

Thanks Mom and Dad Dietrich!

XOXOXOXOXOXOOOOXXXXXOOOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX



I can not tell you how excited he is to have a Ping Pong table.

He has been watching Ping Pong tournaments on YouTube and getting really good.

He works on his form, his breathing and the occasional battle cry, but he’s only lacking in the actual playing part.

What a Manly hubby I have!

The other day the hubby man spent hours on Amazon finding himself the perfect

paddle (I think it will work nicely as a threatening bum beater).

Oh, was he excited! (Have I mentioned this enough yet?)

But when he used a gift card from his boss, it didn’t work.

was very upset and finally called Amazon to ask why the gift card wasn’t working.

It turns out that his boss (I’m not referring to me his wife here, although I am THE Boss.)

had already used the money in the gift card.

Snicker!

HA! HA! HA!

I thought it was hilarious, my poor husband doesn’t think so.

He’s completely crushed; all the light gone from his eyes, shoulders sagging, the whole thing.

(And you wondered where the children got it from?)

So, what should he do?