I actual got up and got dressed on time this morning. This is a big deal for me,
especially after Christmas when my temporary addiction to holiday
candies is no longer being fed. When I got to the kitchen table to sit down,
unseen and unknown was a nice cold puddle of water.
Ya, it soaked into my only clean pair of pants and into my underwear.
Ya, it soaked into my only clean pair of pants and into my underwear.
(And I thought wet socks were bad!)
I jumped up and if ever a person could breathe fire it should have
been then.
So, now I am back in my P.J.s with wet undies!
Why did I even bother getting dressed?
Speaking of breathing fire, I’m actually glad that I can’t
Speaking of breathing fire, I’m actually glad that I can’t
(wouldn’t it be totally awesome though).
If I could breathe fire, then getting fire insurance would be impossible.
If I could breathe fire, then getting fire insurance would be impossible.
Example phone call between Hubby and Phone Receptionist (PR):
Hubby: “Yes, I would like to get fire insurance.”
Helpful PR: “Do you have any flammable material in your home?”
Hubby: “Um, there is a lot of wood…”
Un-helpful PR: “That will increase your premiums. Are there things that get hot in your home?”
Hubby: “Oven, microwave, iron, clothes drier, furnace, water heater, light bulbs and…and…”
Patient PR: “Yes?”
Hubby quietly: “My wife.”
PR: Clears throat then changes the subject. “Did you mean curling iron or clothes iron?”
Hubby: “What?! Oh, my wife doesn’t iron clothes, that’s what driers are for, but my wife she…”
Bored PR: “Just a moment and I will have your monthly premium total.”
Hubby: “My wife breathes fires!” (Red in the face, poor guy)
Surprised PR: “What???”
Hubby: “Yes, when she gets really mad, fire comes out of her mouth!”
Shocked PR: “I’m sorry our company can not insure you at this time.”
--------------Dead dial tone-------------------------------
8 comments:
This was so funny! I'm sure my husband things I breathe fire too.
Where did the water come from?!?!
Do u still have three children?
I have no idea?
And let me check on the children part...one at school...and two at home. Yep, we're good.
I know the feeling of trying to put forth more effort just to watch it back "fire"?
You are too funny Bethanie! I love your sense of humor.
you fired! no you fired! you fired! no you fired! he he he
I'm glad your hubby thinks you are hot.....
That's awesome! Great story! Tell us more! More funny stories!!
That is a very sad story. I too understand the sense of accomplishment you feel when for the first time in quite a while you are up and dressed at a decent hour only to have someone puke on you. That's why I buy more clothes-that way I don't have to do laundry so much; it's a good excuse.
I'm glad you can't breath fire too. I like my son-in-law and my grandchildren too much. Can you imagine what would happen if you got really angry and couldn't control it!!
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