I HATE Rubber Gloves.
It wasn’t an all-of-a-sudden sort of hatred, or even the funny sort - the kind when you see that hideous dress and pull it out so that you and your friends can mock it in burst of giggles. It was that sort of hatred that comes about because at one time we were best friends. I’m not a hating kind of person, but this was truly not my fault. The gloves turned on me.
I used to love rubber gloves; I even sang their praise. I traveled mile after mile in my home hand in hand and they never once let me down. But none of that matters - It’s over. And I hate them.
A week ago I cut my thumb. It wasn’t serious but it was large enough cut that it made it difficult to do anything with my left hand. I milked the situation for all it was worth and claimed that the family would have to take over the cooking and cleaning duties for the WHOLE week. I scrunched up my eyes and whined every time I was asked to put a little pressure on my thumb, but it only worked for the first two days. Clearly the children did not read the memo that I posted onto the fridge.
And I quote, “Thy Mother shall not be forced to work for a whole week."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! It didn’t work. IT! Didn’t! WORK!
Should I have cried longer? Should I have layered on more band-aids? Should I have packed my thumb in ice for a week? Should I have written the memo out in pictures?
Well, I couldn’t even fool the hubby man. Not one little bit. Why? - Because I have rubber gloves. Curse their waterproof hides.
I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking that in this month of thankful posts, I have the audacity to write a hateful post. Go ahead and judge me. I can handle it…maybe… I still hate rubber gloves.
7 comments:
Um.. poor rubber gloves. But, truth be told, I don't like rubber gloves in the first place.
Good luck with ur poor hurt finger. Maybe next time you should break a leg or something ;-)
I don't like rubber gloves because they get holes in them or stuff gets inside from the top and then your hands are swishing around in whatever it was you're trying to keep out. ick. But if they are new rubber gloves and are long then I do like them.
Uh-oh, Smart Helm, you know that's how trouble gets started in families. Bethanie may SAY she hates rubber gloves, but you know suddenly one day things will be patched up between them and she will be singing their praises again, but there will be an awkward, uncomfortable feeling between the two of you because you confessed to never liking rubber gloves in the first place. She will remember that and harbor it against you and one day you'll wake up and realize that Bethanie never calls anymore and she always seems pained to have to talk to you at family functions. And you'll TRY to talk your way out of it, you'll try. You'll say, "Boy! Rubber gloves sure have come a long way! I can't believe there was a time when I actually didn't like them!" Or, "Wow, you really can't judge ALL rubber gloves by one pair. YOUR rubber gloves, THEY are fantastic!" But she'll see through that.
I hope your family isn't too broken by this and that when Bethanie is back to being besties with rubber gloves she will be big enough to forgive you.
molly is brilliant!
...i love rubber gloves ... don't judge me!
loves!
I LOVE rubber gloves! They keep your hands from getting all raisiny and your skin from cracking after being in water too much! Plus they always make me feel better when I have to wash something really gross-like the toilet. I just wish that I could find them in red, and maybe if somebody could make some exfoliating/moisturizing rubber cleaning gloves-that way my hands would be so nice and soft all the time!
I have got to get Neita some rubber gloves!
I love you Bethany and you too smarty...I just hope we can all just get along!
Who would have thought that rubber gloves could stab you in the back!!! I'll have to keep an eye on mine from now on.
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